Dear diary
I feel much better today and I hope the unity continues, for at least until my appointment with the psychiatrist. I've come to the realisation that I've began to regard you as a real person as I have no friends. You will never hurt me will you? You fat smelly slag, the only reason you haven't got any friends is because you smell. Your teeth are rotting out your head. You are a total nutter and scare people away with your insane rantings about sleeping with Johnathan Ross. Everyone knows it's a fantasy. You couldn't even get that acne faced nerd at the mental health drop in centre to like you. I suggest you go to the dentist and have a bath.
But washing is a consumer conspiracy to sell tons of soap and beauty products. Besides I'm allergic to soap. I'll rub organic lemon juice all over my skin instead with a rag on a stick.
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