Diary Entry 2

Dear diary

Today my body has been leaning to the right side. I have fallen over several times. I have lost all sense of co-ordination and stuck a spoon in my eye, and poured soup over my cat. So I had to lick my cat for lunch, and I now have fur balls.
Later in the day the right side of my body went limp and I ended up walking round in circles. I now realise that both sides of my brain need to work together to create a state of harmony, and a body that works. So it seem the right sides argument of reason has fallen down. So I will be reinstating the left side of my brain but the right side can make all the big decisions. Stop laughing at me subconscious, I don't believe in you. You're just a made up by men in white coats who are filling in blanks on crosswords with whatever fits, to justify their existence. You better stop laughing or I'll send the empathy police.

Diary Entry 1

Dear diary

Why am I addressing you as a real person? I must be insane. Maybe little men will leap up off the page and start up a discussion about my sanity. Then maybe get into a heated debate about which side of my brain is controlling my mental state. It would be like a session in the house of commons, with the right side pitted against the left side. I would be the speaker.

Hang on a minute this is my sanity we are talking about here, why can't we all work together instead of pulling in different directions as I am severely worried about my synapses snapping. The last thing I need is a split brain, the shouting has already given me a headache. The right side seems to be the side of reason. They suggested taking total control of the left side.